Strike 3

I'm scared to find out what I already know. 
Disguise the words so my sorrow won't show.
My ears aren't ready to bleed with realization
Of the fact that I yet again failed my soul from relaxation.
Keep the sting from ever reaching me.
I don't have enough blood to bleed you see. 
But not to worry,
even when you feed me what I already know
My mind will pretend that the words you crow
Never reached my cautious inner ego.  
  

an old fuck you poem

Say goodbye to the person that was and say hello to the person that is.

I keep doing things for them,

wishing that they would reciprocate the actions that I plan to end.

Im not doing them for you anymore.

Sorry but it’s my turn to have things done for. 

 Can’t you understand the feeling of no feeling.

Well I can, its like killing and still living.

It hurts not being able to feel.

Not being able to shed a single tear.

Well that ends my dear.

You see, its time to stop searching, stop lurking

for you, and you, and oh yeah you to.

Ill let you find me,

 let you see the person that I dared to share.

Please spare me the explanation of how you claimed to care.

No need to add another lie onto that pile of bullshit.

On second that, I could use one more,

 just so I can watch your face as that pile falls.

Alphabet soup

My life speaks
in silence
The language I use
is mute
I'm afraid of
alphabet soup
What if I choke
on a letter?
Just don't say a word.

an unexisted reality

I am not here.

I have no control.

I’m under the impression

 of someone else’s intentions. You are me,

and I am not here.

You steer me

in any direction, not to mention

the damage of the collective

has made on my imagination. I imagine,

I can’t imagine. You imagine

for me, you have

the control. You choose

each door, and I

close them.

When will anyone understand?

21

i try to stop time
just mine.
the farther i go
the more i know
i won't survive.
They Thrive
i hide.
i foresee that
i won't be
alive, not Dead
in the physical sense
just Dead in my head.
if only my clock
would stop.
then I wouldn't have to follow the heard
And Grow
And Make
And Change
And Behave
differently.

Blocked

Their eyes aren't capable of receiving perspective.
One movement will distract their attention,
as they fail to read in to her intentions.

Their ears won't hear the silence she makes.
They'll hear the words she had to fake,
for the audience who saw she was afraid.

Their lips slip her many movements,
that move through her body all the way to her senses
but they reject
the attempt
to make
contact.

Creatures

It wasn't a celebration. 

It wasn't an event. 

It was a game. 

We were all creatures, each with a different style. 

I was short, and moved with really big steps. 

I was a blue jellyfish creature with only two legs. 

I was alienated. 

Everyone else was so big. 

Everyone else understood the game.

I gave up.